How to Talk to Your Child About Starting Child Care

Talk to your child ahead of time about starting child care.

Starting child care is a big milestone — not just for your child but for you as a parent, too. While you may be excited about your child’s new adventure, they may feel nervous about leaving home (and let's be honest, you may be even more nervous than your child). Meeting new teachers, making new friends and being in an unfamiliar place all can cause some anxiety for a child.

The good news? The way you talk to your child about the transition can make all the difference. Here’s how to set the stage for a positive start.

1. Start the Child Care Conversation Early

Children need time to process big changes. Begin talking about daycare or preschool a few weeks before their first day. Keep it light and positive:

“You’re going to have a special place where you can play, learn, and make new friends.”

This early conversation helps your child feel included and prepared.

2. Keep Your Language Simple and Positive

Use age-appropriate language and focus on the fun parts of their new routine — new toys, story time, playground fun, or meeting other children. Avoid talking about “leaving” them or focusing on separation; instead, emphasize that you’ll always come back.

3. Share What to Expect

Predictability reduces anxiety. Describe what their day might look like:

• Morning: You’ll walk in together, hang up their backpack, say hello to the teacher and meet some new friends.

• Activities: Playing, reading stories, singing songs, visiting the playground, and having snack time.

• Pick-up: Remind them you’ll be back at the end of the day.

This step-by-step explanation makes the unknown feel familiar. You can even hope online and pull up pictures of the exact school (check out their social media or website) you are taking them to so that it looks more familiar. If you don't have access to pictures of the school, then pull up another preschool or daycare and flip through pictures as you talk about what school is like.

4. Read Books About Starting School

Books are powerful tools to help children process emotions. A few favorites include:

• The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn

• Llama Llama Misses Mama by Anna Dewdney

• Maisy Goes to Preschool by Lucy Cousins

Reading together helps normalize their feelings and gives you a chance to answer questions.

5. Practice “Goodbye” and “Hello” Routines

Role-play drop-offs at home — say goodbye, pretend to leave, then return with a big smile. Keep goodbyes short and cheerful at the actual drop-off. Children take their emotional cues from you. When you actually do drop your child off on the first day, you want to make your goodbye short and sweet.

6. Validate Their Feelings

Even with preparation, your child may still feel nervous or cry at first. Acknowledge their emotions:

“I know it feels a little scary to try something new. That’s okay. I’m proud of you for being brave.”

Validating their feelings shows empathy and builds trust.

7. Celebrate Small Wins

When your child gets through their first day — even if there were tears — celebrate their effort! A high-five, a special snack, or an extra bedtime story reinforces that they’re doing something brave and important.

Transitions take time, and it’s normal for kids (and parents!) to need a few weeks to a month to adjust. Your consistent, calm support and encouraging conversations will help your child feel secure and excited about this new chapter.

Starting daycare or preschool isn’t just a change in routine — it’s the beginning of their journey as a learner. With your guidance and reassurance, they can step into it with confidence.